Gear Review: The All-American Jorts.
Jorts of these sorts are not found in any or all stores. These Jorts are made by the very hands of the person who will be proudly wearing them. No, these aren't your Dad's jorts he wore in the 90's or your sisters jorts she cut way too short for that party in college. These are the All-American Jorts.
The first thing about these jorts that speaks volumes is the versatility. Whether you're rebuilding that motor in your old chevy or taking a date out for a campfire by the beach, these jorts perform well in all sorts of scenarios. In the outdoors these have shown to perform well at family BBQ's, Class1 whitewater (more advanced wearers have been seen boating up to class IV!!), and 5.fun climbing routes at the local crag.
Constructed with a highly durable American denim they will withhold abuse from your most grease ridden of hands and the roughest rocks you can possibly sit on. You never know when you're going to slide down a picnic table, and these will help prevent slivers from going up into your buttocks.
The breathability of these jorts is second to none. As in, the only thing that breaths worse is that heavy duty trash bag you used to clean up your tailgate last weekend. However, the breathability can depend on a multitude of things, most importantly how short you cut said jorts, and 2. how high you wear said jorts. Both of these factors contribute to changing the breathability of the piece of gear. I would highly, HIGHLY, recommend purchasing a very breathable set of underwear to keep things happy inside the jorts. I recommend the Ex-Officio Give-n-Go boxer brief for the men, for the ladies, I really have no idea, get something that makes you happy. Consult your local outdoors store.
Cost: The cost on The All-American Jorts might shock you. Cost varies based on your local thrift shops' sales and costs. I purchased mine for a solid $7. Just think, instead of that $400 arcteryx jacket, you could buy 57 pairs of jorts!!! (Let's be real the jorts aren't even in the same category comparison wise)
How will this fit into your gear closet? It won't. you'll be wearing them 100% of the time after you make them and perfect the sizing. The glory about the jorts is you can give them your worst and if for some odd reason they get destroyed you can grab another pair for less than $10. These jorts pair well with sunny days, big sunglasses, and can often be rocked shirtless.
Now that you're sold on a piece of fashion that will never die you're thinking where can I find a pair of these "Sorts"? It varies greatly depending on your local thrift store.. "THRIFT STORE?!" You just yelled that in your head or aloud, I know, I heard it. YES, in your local thrift store. Now, these jorts like to come camouflaged as pants, but with a little scissor work they can become a mighty pair of the All-American Jorts and start making crowds turn their heads.
So, whether you're roasting hot dogs this weekend or climbing your local mountain, pick up your favorite pair of jorts, and become the hero you never thought you could be.
